All or Nothing


//

Quantcast

With me, it’s all or nothing. Oklahoma anyone? But truly, I’m an all or nothing kind of gal. If I do something, I go all in. I’m pretty sure that if I accidentally stole an orange I’d turn into a full on kleptomaniac. Joking aside, my all or nothing attitude has been both a blessing and a curse (okay, curse is a little dramatic).

In my relationships, I either want to hang out with you all the time, or never. If I don’t see or hear from you for a long time, I’ll forget about you. I don’t say this because I’m callous, but because I’m honestly forgetful; at the same time, I want to give more to the relationships that I can give to. Basically I’d rather hang out with someone who can hang with me everyday over someone who can only hang once every two weeks.

This makes it difficult for me to date, because if I feel “meh” about you on the first date I’ll probably just forget you exist. On the other hand, if I really like you I might come across as clingy…or maybe even a tiny bit creepy. I don’t mean it, I just like to show the people I like that I like them…a lot.

With school, this means I’ll either spend one hour or one week on a project; there’s no in between. I either hate a class or love it. Every professor is my favorite or my least favorite. I’ll either read the whole textbook or none of it.

If I decide I want to do something, I’ll do it or go crazy trying to do so. I’ve wasted hours and hours on study abroad programs, scholarships, schools to transfer into, trips to take, jobs to apply for, projects to audition for, and many more things that never happened. I become obsessed with my next big thing, whether it be a birthday trip to NYC (didn’t happen) or studying abroad in London (also didn’t happen).

But my all or nothing attitude has also served me well. I got my first ever movie “role” (as an extra, not anything fancy guys) through really weird circumstances. I found an article in our paper about the movie filming nearby and decided that I, little freshman in high school Celina, was going to be in this movie. Long story short, I emailed the director and convinced my whole family to drive to the mountains and be extras in a random indie film.

My all or nothing attitude also got me my first paid writing gig, out of school for two weeks my senior year of high school to film, and living in Manhattan last summer. And now my all or nothing-ness has landed me a job right after graduation exactly where I wanted – Paris! So even though my all or nothing life is a bit crazy, crazy can be good. Crazy can be PARIS yall!

So follow your crazy! Feel free to comment below with what that is so we can cheer each other on…and make sure we aren’t too crazy ;)

My First Vlog! The “Get To Know Me” Tag

Hello gorgeous readers! I have been dabbling with YouTube for a while now and finally decided to post a video to my personal channel! So in addition to my posts here I will be doing a vlog at least once per week! I’m really excited for this new endeavor and it would mean the world to me if you’d consider subscribing to my channel! Feel free to comment here or on my channel with ideas for new vlogs! This video will tell you a lot about me, and hopefully makes you laugh during the process! Thanks for following my blog and being awesome!

Here is the video!

When Life Hands You Lemons…And Then Takes Them Back

Yesterday was interesting. A week or two ago I had submitted to work on a film that Alex Wolff was working on. Because of transportation issues I wasn’t able to get to set to be an extra, so I was pretty bummed out. Just for the record, I don’t usually do extra work, much less unpaid extra work, but it’s Alex Wolff, ya know?

Also a week or two ago I decided I wanted to study in LA next fall. Honestly, I’m still not sure if this is a desire of mine or God’s, but I’m praying about it. Anyways, I was (and am) worried about how to find the money for this endeavor. I had also interviewed with a camp that I’d really like to work with and really wanted to get an offer for that camp for next summer.

So yesterday morning a I got an email from a casting person with the Alex Wolff film asking for my availability on Friday and Saturday. So I said I’d love to come to set Saturday. The casting lady says that’s great, that I’d actually get paid(!!!), and that she just has to check with the AD. After waiting all day, I get an email saying I’m “on reserve” and that they went with women who looked a bit older than me. So basically if someone dies I get to drop everything and go to set on Saturday.

Also yesterday morning-ish I got an email form that camp offering me a job – at their day camp in Chicago. I was really excited! However, after calling my mom, I was less excited. She reminded me that I’d be making significantly less than last summer, and obviously this wouldn’t help me raise enough funds to study in LA next fall.

So right now I’m really confused – why does life keep handing me lemons and then taking them away? Also, could you pray for me/keep me in your thoughts about this LA thing? I really, REALLY want to go, but I’m really discouraged because of my money situation.I thin it would be a great learning and missions opportunity. I would study film and acting in a Christian environment, but be out of my comfort zone in a huge city, and I think it could potentially be the best semester of my college career.

Love you all,

Celina